Ladies,
There have been many times over the past few months that I have missed you and wished we could have coffee, chat and catch up without the tyranny of distance. To share our stories - triumph and tragedy - without the awkwardness of Skype or phone. But mostly, I've just missed the companionship and comfort of being surrounded by people who know me as well as I know myself.
But I have been lucky, there are people on this side of the Pacific that have provided me with unconditional love and support while I have been here. This was most recently evident at my baby shower.
My baby shower was wonderful. One of the (few) advantages of Zac's early arrival was that I was able to indulge at my shower - blue cheese (I craved this so much during pregnancy); red wine (always a requirement on a chilly day); and skinny jeans (no one wants to wear a moo moo to their own party). The games we played did not involve chocolate in nappies, but rather how many pegs you can take off a clothes line with a glass of wine in your hand - classic! But the best part of the day was the company. It was the first time that I felt like I had just sat around and hung out with everyone. It was exactly what I needed and I was so grateful. I truly felt the love.
A few days later, Tristan surprised me with a trip to the mountains. It was the babymoon we had planned months ago, but I thought we would never get a chance to take. It was only an hour or so away, so we could visit Zac in the morning and go spend the night in the mountains, then see him again on the way home the next day. It was perfect! Of course there was another motive - there was a heap of powder and Tristan wanted to get in a few runs each day. But I didn't mind in the least - it meant I could hang out at Starbucks and read (or sew). The best part was that we got to spend some real quality time together. We had a spa out in the snow, a wonderful dinner at a cute little Italian restaurant where we got to drink Aussie wine, and a lunch at a "bakery" (I think someone needs to advise America that to call a cafe a bakery you actually need to bake something...).
I can't describe how relaxed we were after those few days away. And HAPPY. We knew there was light at the end of the tunnel and we had survived this tumultuous adventure.
The theory of jumping country and spending three years starting a family was fabulous in theory. But, as the cookie crumbles, we were given a less than perfect pregnancy, an extremely early delivery, and an extended stay in the NICU. Without the support network that we take for granted at home, this was difficult (...might be a slight understatement). But the truth of the matter is that without the wonderful Aussies, Brits, Canadians and the odd local, this chapter might have been completely unbearable.
Everyday we get a little message from home sending us love, luck, prayers and support. It has meant a lot. We feel the love.
Everyday someone here will do something that will make us realise how lucky we are, and even though we are far from home, we aren't alone. It means so much. We feel the love.
And, lucky for me, everyday I get a cuddle from both of my boys and their love buoys me though another day. I am always feeling the love.
It was a week where I felt the love so strongly, that I feel the need to thank you all. Mwah!
I hope that you can feel the love too ;-)
Pikes Peak
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Friday, 3 February 2012
Australia day antics and adventures
I must admit that celebrating Australia Day when you are away from home takes on a whole new meaning.
When at home Australia Day typically means a public holiday (a requestite for all us public servants who have been back at work for a whole three weeks after Christmas without a break - shocking!), drinking Tooheys Extra Dry (lovingly known as TEDs in our home), listening to JJJs hottest 100 (counting the half a dozen songs we know) and spending as much time as possible in the water with your mates who will attempt to drown you at least once over the course of the day. Second to Christmas, its our favourite holiday.
This year, Tristan and I enviously read our Facebook updates watching you all complain about the heat/fires/floods and other marvelous meteorological events that make our great country the land of droughts and flooding rains. You spent the day celebrating with your "family", eating snags, pizza shapes, cabanossi and cheese, and running around in your board shorts and national footwear. You watched the Sydney fireworks on the news - after all, who wants to get up at the crack of dawn to get a decent position on the foreshore, where you can't drink and need to sit beside/on a complete stranger for hours on end only to realize the wind is blowing all the smoke from the crackers directly into your eyes so you can't see them anyway!!! Needless to say, we were very homesick.
In an effort to bring the land of Oz to the Mile High City, Tristan and I agreed to host Australia Day celebrations way back in August. The plan was that this would be our last sha-bang before RJ arrived (oh how plans change). Of course, life in its many twists and turns resulted in us paying near no attention to the date. So a week before the big day we realised that we had a party to cater for, but didn't even have enough seats for all our guests to perch on. Luckily, the great Aussie bregade came to the rescue, agreeing to each bring an Aussie platter, Tristan moved all our patio furniture into the basement (liberally "borrowing" odds and ends from our departing brethren) and we made a made dash to Sam's to get meat and salad for a BBQ. Like any good Aussie household, we didn't need beer as the pantry was already stocked ;-)
The day started out like any other: a visit to the hospital to see our little boy - who incidentally was wearing his Aussie Day best thanks to Aunty Ange. I gave him a bath and inked his feet for more footprints, while Tristan ran home to get the party started in my absence.
When I got home a couple of hours later, the house smelled of sausage rolls. Yum! Drifting into the basement I was confronted with a sea of green and gold, and Aussie flags decking every surface. There were dips and chips aplenty, Tim tams and crackers galore, beer in the esky, and wine chilling in the fridge. Devine!!!!
Denver pulled out some good weather (42 - F not C) so not long after I got home (literally Tristan didn't even give me enough time to eat lunch) we grabbed the bat and ball and headed to our local oval to confuse the neighbours with a game of cricket. It was so much fun. The little tackers put the grown ups to shame. The girls stood in the out field doing their best to disappear anytime someone new was needed to bat. And Tristan played one handed as to not spill his drink.
Later on Tristan pulled out his BBQ skills and delivered the best Aussie BBQ that Denver had ever seen. There was potato and pasta salad, something that looked like beetroot (....), a huge salad that was barely touched (in the tradition of Aussie Day - you don't make friends with salad), steak, lamb, hamburger patties (that shrunk on the BBQ and looked more like meatballs) and sausages of the chicken variety. It was a grand feast that was serenaded by the gentle whispers of Richie Benuet and the Australia Day Test match at Adeliade Oval. It felt just like home.
Then came my favourite part of the day - DESSERT!!! The Aussie ladies of Denver delivered such delight that my taste buds are still dancing. There was pavolva (covered in aerobar flacks), laminations, chocolate crackles and cake. So good! The best part was that there was left overs!!
After heavily indulging and being glad that I was wearing track pants with an elastic waist band, everyone decided to head home (early mornings the next day meant we really couldn't indulge too much more...). In an effort to help, one of the kids was carrying the left over cake to the kitchen and just missed the bench. It was the funniest thing I had seen in ages. Chocolate cake all over the floor, the little tacker standing in the middle of it not knowing whether to laugh and or cry, and Tristan's devastated face when he realised his morning tea for the week was on gone (though we did manage to save some of it). Classic Aussie Day memories.
It wasn't the same as home, but it's uniqueness made it special. The importance of being Australian when you are away from home just seems to be more. You want to scream from the mountain top that you come for the sun burnt country and make every American eat a tim tam so they can appreciate how crap their cookies really are. While we are enjoying our American adventure, we will always call Australia home - and miss it terribly while we are away.
Hope you are all well and enjoyed Australia day where ever you may have been in the world.
Xox
Tristan, Penni and Zac
When at home Australia Day typically means a public holiday (a requestite for all us public servants who have been back at work for a whole three weeks after Christmas without a break - shocking!), drinking Tooheys Extra Dry (lovingly known as TEDs in our home), listening to JJJs hottest 100 (counting the half a dozen songs we know) and spending as much time as possible in the water with your mates who will attempt to drown you at least once over the course of the day. Second to Christmas, its our favourite holiday.
This year, Tristan and I enviously read our Facebook updates watching you all complain about the heat/fires/floods and other marvelous meteorological events that make our great country the land of droughts and flooding rains. You spent the day celebrating with your "family", eating snags, pizza shapes, cabanossi and cheese, and running around in your board shorts and national footwear. You watched the Sydney fireworks on the news - after all, who wants to get up at the crack of dawn to get a decent position on the foreshore, where you can't drink and need to sit beside/on a complete stranger for hours on end only to realize the wind is blowing all the smoke from the crackers directly into your eyes so you can't see them anyway!!! Needless to say, we were very homesick.
In an effort to bring the land of Oz to the Mile High City, Tristan and I agreed to host Australia Day celebrations way back in August. The plan was that this would be our last sha-bang before RJ arrived (oh how plans change). Of course, life in its many twists and turns resulted in us paying near no attention to the date. So a week before the big day we realised that we had a party to cater for, but didn't even have enough seats for all our guests to perch on. Luckily, the great Aussie bregade came to the rescue, agreeing to each bring an Aussie platter, Tristan moved all our patio furniture into the basement (liberally "borrowing" odds and ends from our departing brethren) and we made a made dash to Sam's to get meat and salad for a BBQ. Like any good Aussie household, we didn't need beer as the pantry was already stocked ;-)
The day started out like any other: a visit to the hospital to see our little boy - who incidentally was wearing his Aussie Day best thanks to Aunty Ange. I gave him a bath and inked his feet for more footprints, while Tristan ran home to get the party started in my absence.
When I got home a couple of hours later, the house smelled of sausage rolls. Yum! Drifting into the basement I was confronted with a sea of green and gold, and Aussie flags decking every surface. There were dips and chips aplenty, Tim tams and crackers galore, beer in the esky, and wine chilling in the fridge. Devine!!!!
Denver pulled out some good weather (42 - F not C) so not long after I got home (literally Tristan didn't even give me enough time to eat lunch) we grabbed the bat and ball and headed to our local oval to confuse the neighbours with a game of cricket. It was so much fun. The little tackers put the grown ups to shame. The girls stood in the out field doing their best to disappear anytime someone new was needed to bat. And Tristan played one handed as to not spill his drink.
Later on Tristan pulled out his BBQ skills and delivered the best Aussie BBQ that Denver had ever seen. There was potato and pasta salad, something that looked like beetroot (....), a huge salad that was barely touched (in the tradition of Aussie Day - you don't make friends with salad), steak, lamb, hamburger patties (that shrunk on the BBQ and looked more like meatballs) and sausages of the chicken variety. It was a grand feast that was serenaded by the gentle whispers of Richie Benuet and the Australia Day Test match at Adeliade Oval. It felt just like home.
Then came my favourite part of the day - DESSERT!!! The Aussie ladies of Denver delivered such delight that my taste buds are still dancing. There was pavolva (covered in aerobar flacks), laminations, chocolate crackles and cake. So good! The best part was that there was left overs!!
After heavily indulging and being glad that I was wearing track pants with an elastic waist band, everyone decided to head home (early mornings the next day meant we really couldn't indulge too much more...). In an effort to help, one of the kids was carrying the left over cake to the kitchen and just missed the bench. It was the funniest thing I had seen in ages. Chocolate cake all over the floor, the little tacker standing in the middle of it not knowing whether to laugh and or cry, and Tristan's devastated face when he realised his morning tea for the week was on gone (though we did manage to save some of it). Classic Aussie Day memories.
It wasn't the same as home, but it's uniqueness made it special. The importance of being Australian when you are away from home just seems to be more. You want to scream from the mountain top that you come for the sun burnt country and make every American eat a tim tam so they can appreciate how crap their cookies really are. While we are enjoying our American adventure, we will always call Australia home - and miss it terribly while we are away.
Hope you are all well and enjoyed Australia day where ever you may have been in the world.
Xox
Tristan, Penni and Zac
Friday, 13 January 2012
Love letter to Zac's Great Grandparents
Dear Grandma, Granddad, Nan and Pop,
It's been a while since my last update, so I thought you might like know how your great grandson is growing.
It's been six (long) weeks since he was born, and let me tell you he has grown and changed so much over that time. Tristan and I visit him at the hospital everyday, and he is bigger and stronger every time we see him.
Initially, Zac was so tiny and he had tubes and machines connected up to him everywhere. It was so scary and intimidating. On the few opportunities I had to hold him I was terrified that I was going to drop him. He only reached from my chest to the bottom of my ribs and I had to be so careful when I held him so the cords wouldn't pull. Janette and I would laugh that he looked like a spider monkey - small and skinny with long arms and legs that (tried to) grab on to me. His head and face were so petite and pixie like. Adorable, but so small it just didn't seem real.
As Zac grew into his features he began to look like Gollum from Lord of the Rings (the cute curious creature that helped the hobbits - not his evil split personality). His color improved, his movements became less disjointed, and he slowly started to act like a little baby. Holding him then was easier as he was a bit bigger - but still less than 3 lbs - and there were less bits and pieces connected to him. Our cuddles got more frequent and longer. Even Tristan and Janette got to hold him.
Finally, between Christmas and New Year he started looking, acting and sounding like a real baby. His head started to grow, and fine hair started to cover it (Tristan and I are debating the color - I'm certain it is red and he thinks it's blond darkening up to brown). His body grew a bit longer, making his arms and legs look more in proportion, and everything started to fill out. He now has an adorable tubby tummy! When the nurses do their checks every three hours he grizzles, grunts and cries like other babies do - especially when they put a cold wet wipe on his bottom or play with his feet.
While he is still very small (1690g or 3 lbs 11 today) its not so scary to hold him. He only has a few cords left connected to him, so we can pick him up much more easily. When he lays on my chest he now almost reaches my belly button when he stretches out. The doctors say that once he is about 1800g he can move out of the isolette (humidicrib) and into a real crib as he has learnt some temperature control - Yay!!! We can't wait for that day.
Because Zac has grown the nurses and doctors have started to begin his physical development. He has physiothearpy 3-4 times a week where he learns to move his muscles correctly. He is doing very well and I am starting to learn the exercises so he can continue his routine when he eventually comes home. He will continue this therapy until his growth rate catches with his age - so likely until he is 3.
His breathing also continues to improve. Because his lungs are so immature he is connected to an oxygen machine that helps to inflate them. But he has moved to the lowest setting and is breathing very well. He will likely need to come home with oxygen due to the altertude. This is not unusual in Colorado and he will probably grow out of it in a couple of months.
I am most excited that Zac has started to learn to suckle. He is still fed through a tube (30mL every three hours), but once a day we sit down and spend some mummy-baby time where he learns to breast feed. It is the most wonderful experience. I could swoon about it for hours. Next week the nurses will start him on the bottle as well. While he will be drinking breast milk it is infused with formula for added calories to help him grow big and strong.
Once Zac is able to sleep in a crib without having any breathing hiccups and feed properly from a bottle he will be ready to go home. All of this will still take a couple weeks. We are aiming to have him home for his due date of 20 February - keep your fingers crossed.
All in all, your littlest (great) grandson is doing very well. We are so proud of his fighting spirit and that he has grown and developed so well. Everyone's love, thoughts and prayers have paid off.
Well, it's time for Zac's next feed so I have to be off. Give our love to everyone. We miss you all so much and can't wait for you all to meet our little man later in the year.
Lots of love
Penni (and Tristan and most importantly Zac)
It's been a while since my last update, so I thought you might like know how your great grandson is growing.
It's been six (long) weeks since he was born, and let me tell you he has grown and changed so much over that time. Tristan and I visit him at the hospital everyday, and he is bigger and stronger every time we see him.
Initially, Zac was so tiny and he had tubes and machines connected up to him everywhere. It was so scary and intimidating. On the few opportunities I had to hold him I was terrified that I was going to drop him. He only reached from my chest to the bottom of my ribs and I had to be so careful when I held him so the cords wouldn't pull. Janette and I would laugh that he looked like a spider monkey - small and skinny with long arms and legs that (tried to) grab on to me. His head and face were so petite and pixie like. Adorable, but so small it just didn't seem real.
As Zac grew into his features he began to look like Gollum from Lord of the Rings (the cute curious creature that helped the hobbits - not his evil split personality). His color improved, his movements became less disjointed, and he slowly started to act like a little baby. Holding him then was easier as he was a bit bigger - but still less than 3 lbs - and there were less bits and pieces connected to him. Our cuddles got more frequent and longer. Even Tristan and Janette got to hold him.
Finally, between Christmas and New Year he started looking, acting and sounding like a real baby. His head started to grow, and fine hair started to cover it (Tristan and I are debating the color - I'm certain it is red and he thinks it's blond darkening up to brown). His body grew a bit longer, making his arms and legs look more in proportion, and everything started to fill out. He now has an adorable tubby tummy! When the nurses do their checks every three hours he grizzles, grunts and cries like other babies do - especially when they put a cold wet wipe on his bottom or play with his feet.
While he is still very small (1690g or 3 lbs 11 today) its not so scary to hold him. He only has a few cords left connected to him, so we can pick him up much more easily. When he lays on my chest he now almost reaches my belly button when he stretches out. The doctors say that once he is about 1800g he can move out of the isolette (humidicrib) and into a real crib as he has learnt some temperature control - Yay!!! We can't wait for that day.
Because Zac has grown the nurses and doctors have started to begin his physical development. He has physiothearpy 3-4 times a week where he learns to move his muscles correctly. He is doing very well and I am starting to learn the exercises so he can continue his routine when he eventually comes home. He will continue this therapy until his growth rate catches with his age - so likely until he is 3.
His breathing also continues to improve. Because his lungs are so immature he is connected to an oxygen machine that helps to inflate them. But he has moved to the lowest setting and is breathing very well. He will likely need to come home with oxygen due to the altertude. This is not unusual in Colorado and he will probably grow out of it in a couple of months.
I am most excited that Zac has started to learn to suckle. He is still fed through a tube (30mL every three hours), but once a day we sit down and spend some mummy-baby time where he learns to breast feed. It is the most wonderful experience. I could swoon about it for hours. Next week the nurses will start him on the bottle as well. While he will be drinking breast milk it is infused with formula for added calories to help him grow big and strong.
Once Zac is able to sleep in a crib without having any breathing hiccups and feed properly from a bottle he will be ready to go home. All of this will still take a couple weeks. We are aiming to have him home for his due date of 20 February - keep your fingers crossed.
All in all, your littlest (great) grandson is doing very well. We are so proud of his fighting spirit and that he has grown and developed so well. Everyone's love, thoughts and prayers have paid off.
Well, it's time for Zac's next feed so I have to be off. Give our love to everyone. We miss you all so much and can't wait for you all to meet our little man later in the year.
Lots of love
Penni (and Tristan and most importantly Zac)
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
On the first Christmas
Dear Zac,
Given your premature arrival, you spent your very first Christmas in the NICU. Your Dad, Granddad "Jolly", Grandma and I all came to visit you, oh-ing and ah-ing over your crib. Jolly had brought you a newborn Christmas outfit for photos, but you were still so small that it looked like you had been swallowed by a red circus tent - but it was cute! Your Dad had his second big hug from you and we got a few family happy snaps of the three generations of Apperley men. You all look so alike it was scary. Even the nurses commented on it.
Daddy and Santa must be very good friends as you received a truck load of toys. They are all sitting under the tree waiting for you to come home. Sure, all the toys are bigger than you, and you'll need to get a bit older before you can play with them, but I know Santa enjoyed picking out your gifts and putting them under the tree.
After an hour or so of staring adoringly at your little face (and hands and toes and tubby belly) we had to leave to go spend our first Christmas in Denver with all the other Aussies.
It was a great day. Somehow we managed to get all 5 Aussie families in Denver at that time to the one house to celebrate Christmas together. We had a huge dinner, shared a secret Santa, and the big boys had a war in the backyard with their pellet guns. There were children laughing and playing, grown ups eating and drinking, and everyone enjoying that special time of the year together. However, you were a notable absentee. We all just kept reminding ourselves that you would be there next year, enjoying the wrapping paper and ignoring your new toys.
On boxing day, Daddy woke everyone up early to come visit you. You had just had physiotherapy and were wide awake! After changing your nappy, then changing it again because you waited until we wrapped you up and messed in it again(!) you had your first hug with Jolly. Well, I thought your Daddy looked proud when he hugged you, but your grandfather had this smile of pure joy on his face while he hugged you. He took a dozen self photos on his phone and swore he saw you smile when you heard your Daddy's voice. I don't know about that... But you were definitely peaceful. Or at least you were until you messed your nappy again. The smell was so bad that Jolly asked to put you back in your crib! I'm sure that will be a moment of pride in the future...
After we played with you for a while, Daddy drove us up into the mountains for lunch. The drive was lovely. We saw winter in all it's glory: towering white mountains, frozen lakes and snow frosted roads. We walked on water (well - frozen water); your Grandma was dazzled by the mountains - I think she was so snap happy that she ran her camera battery flat; Jolly saw some ice fishermen and had to pull over to have a chat; and your Dad and I dreamed of a day that we could have a family weekend away in the mountains. It was a good day.
You are growing so well, slowly putting on weight and learning to breath. We marvel at the little improvements that you make each day. We daily hear from our family in Oz, sending their love and prayers, and asking us to give you a little extra squeeze from them. You are truly spoiled with love.
While your first Christmas was a year earlier than we thought and not quiet the way we may have wished, it was so very special. Your Daddy and I are so very proud and fall a little more in love with you each day. Christmas is always a special time in our family, and now it is even more so as we have you to share it with.
Lots of love
Mum and Dad
Given your premature arrival, you spent your very first Christmas in the NICU. Your Dad, Granddad "Jolly", Grandma and I all came to visit you, oh-ing and ah-ing over your crib. Jolly had brought you a newborn Christmas outfit for photos, but you were still so small that it looked like you had been swallowed by a red circus tent - but it was cute! Your Dad had his second big hug from you and we got a few family happy snaps of the three generations of Apperley men. You all look so alike it was scary. Even the nurses commented on it.
Daddy and Santa must be very good friends as you received a truck load of toys. They are all sitting under the tree waiting for you to come home. Sure, all the toys are bigger than you, and you'll need to get a bit older before you can play with them, but I know Santa enjoyed picking out your gifts and putting them under the tree.
After an hour or so of staring adoringly at your little face (and hands and toes and tubby belly) we had to leave to go spend our first Christmas in Denver with all the other Aussies.
It was a great day. Somehow we managed to get all 5 Aussie families in Denver at that time to the one house to celebrate Christmas together. We had a huge dinner, shared a secret Santa, and the big boys had a war in the backyard with their pellet guns. There were children laughing and playing, grown ups eating and drinking, and everyone enjoying that special time of the year together. However, you were a notable absentee. We all just kept reminding ourselves that you would be there next year, enjoying the wrapping paper and ignoring your new toys.
On boxing day, Daddy woke everyone up early to come visit you. You had just had physiotherapy and were wide awake! After changing your nappy, then changing it again because you waited until we wrapped you up and messed in it again(!) you had your first hug with Jolly. Well, I thought your Daddy looked proud when he hugged you, but your grandfather had this smile of pure joy on his face while he hugged you. He took a dozen self photos on his phone and swore he saw you smile when you heard your Daddy's voice. I don't know about that... But you were definitely peaceful. Or at least you were until you messed your nappy again. The smell was so bad that Jolly asked to put you back in your crib! I'm sure that will be a moment of pride in the future...
After we played with you for a while, Daddy drove us up into the mountains for lunch. The drive was lovely. We saw winter in all it's glory: towering white mountains, frozen lakes and snow frosted roads. We walked on water (well - frozen water); your Grandma was dazzled by the mountains - I think she was so snap happy that she ran her camera battery flat; Jolly saw some ice fishermen and had to pull over to have a chat; and your Dad and I dreamed of a day that we could have a family weekend away in the mountains. It was a good day.
You are growing so well, slowly putting on weight and learning to breath. We marvel at the little improvements that you make each day. We daily hear from our family in Oz, sending their love and prayers, and asking us to give you a little extra squeeze from them. You are truly spoiled with love.
While your first Christmas was a year earlier than we thought and not quiet the way we may have wished, it was so very special. Your Daddy and I are so very proud and fall a little more in love with you each day. Christmas is always a special time in our family, and now it is even more so as we have you to share it with.
Lots of love
Mum and Dad
Friday, 9 December 2011
Surprise Mum and Dad! I couldn't wait any longer!!!
As I hope you all know by now, Zachary Bruce Apperley surprised Tristan and I with his very early arrival in the wee hours of 30 November. He was born at 28 weeks (so 12 weeks early) and weighed in at a tiny 810 grams and 35 cm long.
I can honestly tell you that was the longest day for Tristan and I. It started in with Tristan leaving for work at 5am. I had been uncomfortable all night so I got up and had an early shower and tried to eat some breakfast. About 40 minutes later I was back in bed dozing as I had a doctors appointment with our specialist a few hours later.
We had been visiting our specialist once a week for the past two month or so. Early tests had shown some "normal but elevated" results. It turns out that RJ just wasn't growing as well as he should have been and the doctor wanted to keep a close eye on us.
On this regular check up, one of the scans didn't come back very well. I saw it on the screen, closed my eyes and prayed, thinking well there goes our Vegas turbo trip this weekend. The doctor came in and started to ask a few questions and tested my blood pressure. Those results were worse. More questions. Yes I was sore in the ribs, no I didn't have an appetite, yes I had been feeling off color for a couple of days, no RJ hadn't been moving much...
Gently squeezing my hand our wonderful specialist explained that he was concerned about what he had seen and wanted to admit me for a few tests, and that there was a good chance that RJ would need to be delivered early. I think I stopped listening at this point - panic set in. I was only 28 weeks! Surely this wasn't happening!!!! Due to his concern, the doctor wanted me to go to a different hospital in the city. More panic!
Tristan was still at work at this point, so I started to try and get in contact with him while the doctor rang the hospital. Somewhere autopilot set in, and all I could think about was how was I going to tell Tristan the news without appearing like a crazy woman - oh and tell him that his long awaited Vegas trip was cancelled. Following a huge hug from the doctor, orders to tell Tristan to call him, and a promise that he would come check in on me, I somehow made it to the car and Tristan rang me. It only took a second for him to take control and tell me that he would meet me at home and we would go to the hospital together.
Home, pack, panic, tears and Tristan telling me it was ok.
About 2 hours later we checked into the hospital. We went straight into a delivery suite, RJ was hooked up to a monitor, and they vampired test tubes and test tubes of blood from me. An hour or so later, a new (blonde) doctor sat down with us and explained that I had severe preeclampsia and that the only way to treat it was to deliver the baby. They gave us 48 hours and a hit of steroids to get use to the idea. Tristan and I sat there is shock for a while, and then started the phone calls. Luckily the time difference was on our side!
About 830 I sent Tristan home for some well deserved sleep. We both presumed it would be a long 48 hours and we would need all the rest we could get. I settled down for a night of being tied to a damn machine, but was comforted by the gentle and regular sounds of RJ's heartbeat. Of the three of us, he was handling this situation the best. Not even a flurry in his heartbeat. He was fine - not a care in the world.
An hour later blonde doctor came back to my bedside and explained that my results were worsening. They were delivering RJ by emergency C section tonight! I rang poor Tristan who had only just put his head on his pillow to tell him that his son would be arriving tonight and that he better come back to the hospital.
3 hours later, heavily drugged, Tristan held my hand as the doctors bought little Zac into the world. It was 325am and we were parents.
Zac was rushed off to the neonatal ICU to make sure he was ok. I later found out that he was fine and came out breathing - unusual for a baby of his age and weight.
Tristan spent the next two days ping ponging between my recovery room and zac's crib. He was a hero, managing to be everywhere, and exactly where he was needed every moment of the day. No wonder he was exhausted by the time I got home a few days later.
A week later and I'm fine, though still bruised from head to heal, and Zac is exceeding our expectations, growing and developing wonderfully everyday. While he will be in the NICU for several months fattening up, we are positive that we will be bringing our little wonder home in no time at all.
Given that he is in ICU and in a humicrib, we won't be posting any photos for sometime. But I can tell you he has the dominant Apperley genes, "strawberry blond" hair and a great fighting spirit that resists being swaddled at every turn. Apparently you arms should be above your head when sleeping, and legs should be able to kick randomly whenever you feel the need. The only part of me my son seems to have inherited is a love of sleeping on his belly (or face planting as my friends so lovingly tell me).
Tristan and I are so grateful for the love, prayers, and support from you all over the past week. It has been truly appreciated and given us added strength when we were running on empty.
We will endevour to keep you all updated on his progress over the next few weeks, though you'll have to excuse me if these blog posts are even more irregular as we get use to our new schedule of spending time with our little man at his bedside.
Know that we are in great spirits here in Denver, missing you all like crazy and wishing we could share these special moments with you all.
We'll keep in touch
Lots of love,
Tristan, Penni and Zac
I can honestly tell you that was the longest day for Tristan and I. It started in with Tristan leaving for work at 5am. I had been uncomfortable all night so I got up and had an early shower and tried to eat some breakfast. About 40 minutes later I was back in bed dozing as I had a doctors appointment with our specialist a few hours later.
We had been visiting our specialist once a week for the past two month or so. Early tests had shown some "normal but elevated" results. It turns out that RJ just wasn't growing as well as he should have been and the doctor wanted to keep a close eye on us.
On this regular check up, one of the scans didn't come back very well. I saw it on the screen, closed my eyes and prayed, thinking well there goes our Vegas turbo trip this weekend. The doctor came in and started to ask a few questions and tested my blood pressure. Those results were worse. More questions. Yes I was sore in the ribs, no I didn't have an appetite, yes I had been feeling off color for a couple of days, no RJ hadn't been moving much...
Gently squeezing my hand our wonderful specialist explained that he was concerned about what he had seen and wanted to admit me for a few tests, and that there was a good chance that RJ would need to be delivered early. I think I stopped listening at this point - panic set in. I was only 28 weeks! Surely this wasn't happening!!!! Due to his concern, the doctor wanted me to go to a different hospital in the city. More panic!
Tristan was still at work at this point, so I started to try and get in contact with him while the doctor rang the hospital. Somewhere autopilot set in, and all I could think about was how was I going to tell Tristan the news without appearing like a crazy woman - oh and tell him that his long awaited Vegas trip was cancelled. Following a huge hug from the doctor, orders to tell Tristan to call him, and a promise that he would come check in on me, I somehow made it to the car and Tristan rang me. It only took a second for him to take control and tell me that he would meet me at home and we would go to the hospital together.
Home, pack, panic, tears and Tristan telling me it was ok.
About 2 hours later we checked into the hospital. We went straight into a delivery suite, RJ was hooked up to a monitor, and they vampired test tubes and test tubes of blood from me. An hour or so later, a new (blonde) doctor sat down with us and explained that I had severe preeclampsia and that the only way to treat it was to deliver the baby. They gave us 48 hours and a hit of steroids to get use to the idea. Tristan and I sat there is shock for a while, and then started the phone calls. Luckily the time difference was on our side!
About 830 I sent Tristan home for some well deserved sleep. We both presumed it would be a long 48 hours and we would need all the rest we could get. I settled down for a night of being tied to a damn machine, but was comforted by the gentle and regular sounds of RJ's heartbeat. Of the three of us, he was handling this situation the best. Not even a flurry in his heartbeat. He was fine - not a care in the world.
An hour later blonde doctor came back to my bedside and explained that my results were worsening. They were delivering RJ by emergency C section tonight! I rang poor Tristan who had only just put his head on his pillow to tell him that his son would be arriving tonight and that he better come back to the hospital.
3 hours later, heavily drugged, Tristan held my hand as the doctors bought little Zac into the world. It was 325am and we were parents.
Zac was rushed off to the neonatal ICU to make sure he was ok. I later found out that he was fine and came out breathing - unusual for a baby of his age and weight.
Tristan spent the next two days ping ponging between my recovery room and zac's crib. He was a hero, managing to be everywhere, and exactly where he was needed every moment of the day. No wonder he was exhausted by the time I got home a few days later.
A week later and I'm fine, though still bruised from head to heal, and Zac is exceeding our expectations, growing and developing wonderfully everyday. While he will be in the NICU for several months fattening up, we are positive that we will be bringing our little wonder home in no time at all.
Given that he is in ICU and in a humicrib, we won't be posting any photos for sometime. But I can tell you he has the dominant Apperley genes, "strawberry blond" hair and a great fighting spirit that resists being swaddled at every turn. Apparently you arms should be above your head when sleeping, and legs should be able to kick randomly whenever you feel the need. The only part of me my son seems to have inherited is a love of sleeping on his belly (or face planting as my friends so lovingly tell me).
Tristan and I are so grateful for the love, prayers, and support from you all over the past week. It has been truly appreciated and given us added strength when we were running on empty.
We will endevour to keep you all updated on his progress over the next few weeks, though you'll have to excuse me if these blog posts are even more irregular as we get use to our new schedule of spending time with our little man at his bedside.
Know that we are in great spirits here in Denver, missing you all like crazy and wishing we could share these special moments with you all.
We'll keep in touch
Lots of love,
Tristan, Penni and Zac
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
4 days, 4 states and a Grandfather
Now that Tristan and I have a "regular" routine, we have been able to make plans for a few trips. "Turbo Tourism" is on the agenda ladies and gentlemen!
The first turbo trip was down into the DEEP south.
First stop: New Orleans. NO (as the locals seemed to label it left right and centre) is by no means a big city. It's almost Canberra size - just with a population 4 times bigger! Tristan treated me to a very fancy hotel room on the 33rd floor with a view of the Mississippi river and the French quarter. Conveniently, it was also only a few blocks away from Bourbon street. After walking Bourbon street in the afternoon, we sampled the local cuisine (deep fried seafood) and watched as the night came alive! Despite being a Tuesday night the street was packed with people, drinking frozen daiquiris from plastic cups, and barely legal ladies inviting the general population into their pavilions of fun and pleasure.
While Tristan (literally) drank up the ambiance, I had a horrible realisation that I was an innocent! As worldly as I thought I was - well Bourbon street cleared me up of those misconceptions quick-fast! It was GOLD! Probably not a place to be pregnant and sober, but fantastic all the same! Definitely a place to play and go wild! I have no idea how a person would survive mardi gras there, but I would love to find out! A very memorable night, despite needing to go to bed at 1030 because I simply couldn't stand any longer.
The next day we explored the French quarter and ate breakfast at one of the well known french "patisseries" Cafe Du Monde. So disappointing! The drinks came in a can, and the only food you could order were beignets- a doughnut kind of thing that tasted like the soles of your shoes - ewww! The water front was nice, but it was easy to see how the city flooded. It's mostly at or below sea level and the drainage is limited... but it is iconic.
We then drove East to go on a swamp tour. I wasn't too keen, but as it turns out, it was one of the best things we have done so far. We saw so many beautiful birds, racoons, and of course alligators. It was a great experience. I think most of the wild life have a sugar addiction as the tour guides fed all the animals marshmallows (which they couldn't get enough of!). It was really an "oh wow" moment when you realised the diversity the region. Of course, it was also the moment that Tristan discovered that my feet had doubled in size and were squeezing out between the gaps of my sandals... travel + humidity = embarrassment and very sore feet!
Shortly after we left Louisiana and entered into Mississippi and we finally saw the "beach". Sure it was man made, manicured and looked about knee deep as far as the eye could see, but it was water enough to make us feel a bit home sick. We dipped our feet into the Gulf of Mexico, drove passed about 10 casinos and finally caught up with Tristan's father, Roger. It was so nice to see a familiar face and hear a familiar voice so far away from home. RJ definately could feel it, as it was from that moment that he started wiggling like a little worm - and just hasn't stopped!!!
The next morning, despite having an opportunity to sleep in, we got up early to start the next adventure. But first, there was that Tornado warning - a lovely alarm clock whatever the time of day. We jumped into the car and kept heading east (past the storm) into Alabama and found a huge memorial park complete with battleship, submarine and huge air hanger. It was slightly raining when we arrived, so we looked in the hanger first. It was awesome. There were mostly "modern" aircraft so I could actually recognize a few of them. Tristan, as always, went snap happy especially when we saw the Blackbird (only aviation geeks will appreciate that one). Then outside it started to rain, and pour and rain a little more. Tristan braved weather to have a look at the sub, while I stayed safe in the hanger, looking a pictures of the damage Katrina did to the displays. A few minutes later Tristan came back a drowned rat and we decided to hit the road again.
A few miles further down the road, we made Florida - well the very western edge of Florida anyway. Our destination was the naval aviation museum. It was this massive building, filled top to bottom with planes. There were no spaces or gaps - it was just all planes! However, they were mostly older aircraft. Tristan scurried around taking photos and I strolled around slowly. There were displays on space aeronautics that were cool, but all in all I think I appreciated the Alabama memorial park more. While there Tristan sweet talked his way into a back stage tour of the museum's flight line. The guide was a retired bloke that just wanted to have a yarn and tell his stories. It was really nice and he had a couple of stories about Australia.
We then jumped back into the car and drove back through Florida and Alabama to Mississippi to spend another night with Roger. Spending time with both Tristan and his Dad makes you remember how many similar mannerisms they have. One would answer a question and if you weren't paying attention you would have sworn that it was the other one replying. It still makes me laugh when that happens. The Apperley traits have bred true and strong between father and son. I just know RJ would have joined in if he could.
It was another early morning and we headed back to Louisiana to fly home. First we visited the American WWII museum. After spending so much time studying this period of time it was very interesting to hear the story from a US perspective. The museum was very much like the War Memorial in Canberra (thought much smaller), however, it had this fabulous Steve Spielberg/ Tom Hanks movie at the start that walked you through the war. It was "4D" but of greater value was that it visually showed so much of the story that a still museum just isn't able to do. The academic in me picked at all the (huge) gaps (and bias) in the story, but it was very interesting to see it through the eyes of another.
3 hours at the airport, and a 3 hour flight back to Denver and we were home! Happy feet (or at least feet returning to a "normal" size)
Following 4 states in 4 days I was exhausted, and poor Tristan had to turn around and go straight back to work the next morning. But it was worth it: seeing Roger's face as he got to look at the sonogram photos of his grandson, watching Tristan boast about life, getting to see so many of the sights and delights of the aviation world in a few days, seeing (and tasting) the south, and ticking a few states off our to-visit list. Happy family! But exhausted!
We have Thanksgiving in a few days. We are hosting.... gee I hope I don't ruin the turkey. I'll let you know...
much love
Thursday, 10 November 2011
All things orange and black
I think the universe is trying to tell us something...
It all started the week before Halloween, when we received a lovely surprise package on our door step. It was a wonderful gift from Aunty Lisa, Uncle Miles, Patrick, Lachlan and Juanita for RJ: A West's Tigers jersey and shorts. As you can all imagine, you couldn't wipe the grin off Tristan's face. Another generation of Tiger's supporters in the family (sigh). The cute little orange and black outfit currently has pride of place in RJ's bedroom, and it's not unusual for Tristan to wonder passed, pop his head in for a peak, and walk away with a cheeky, knowing smile that his boy will grow up loving Tigerland.
Later that week, we "celebrated" Halloween at a friend's house. They decorated their entire basement to look like a creepy dungeon. It was fantastic! Tristan and I dressed up as a gangster and a flapper - I think I looked like a pregnant whale, and Tristan looked like he was wearing his PJ's in public. It probably didn't help that he was wearing his tracky pants and Tiger's jersey underneath.
Given that it was Halloween, the colours orange and black had prominence in the food and drink, decorations and candy. We only decorated the entry of our house with a jack-o-lantern (cut by Tristan) and a smiley face in the mirror. We had about 50 kids come trick-or-treating to our door. There were some very cute costumes, some that were a little bit too grown up for kiddies to be wearing, and one terrifying clown that gave me bad dreams that night. While I'm glad this tradition doesn't have a foot hold at home (yet) it was nice to experience it from this side of the fence. I'll have to think up a good costume for RJ to wear next year :-)
This week we got to experience one of the most wonderful things ever - seeing our son in 3D. During a scan, the lovely lady showed me what RJ looks like - in orange and black. I actually think the world stopped for a few seconds while I soaked up that tiny little image. Needless to say, daddy's genes are dominant with the Apperley nose and chin on display. I think I might have a look in with his little squinty eyes, that even opened during the scan. His little hands are cupping his face, and you could even see his little nails starting to grow. It was AMAZING!!
Last night, Tristan surprised me with a lovely date to see the Lion King in the city. We got all dressed up and spent over an hour stuck in traffic getting to the theater. Once there, the visual spectacular was incredible - overwhelmingly dominated by orange and black. As we watched the lovely story of Simba, I couldn't help but letting the pregnancy hormones overwhelm me when Mufasa cuddles his son, and when at the end of the show the show the cycle continues when Simba does the same. Ahh - life reflected in theater (or vice versa). Good thing that Tristan was so entranced in the show, he didn't see me have a little teary in the corner.
All in all, I think the universe is subtly preparing Tristan and I for orange and black in our future.... not sure if that means RJ will be a raging ranga like his dad with dark eyes like his mum, or if basketball looking aliens are about to invade, or that the harvest festival has infested my brain and I have become colour blind to the rest of the rainbow spectrum... pregnancy may have made me a little more crazy than normal...
Oh, and for all those on baby bump watch, I can confirm that I am looking more than festively plump - there is definitely something going on inside my belly. I'll get Tristan to get a photo soon.
Lots of love
Tristan, Penni and RJ.
It all started the week before Halloween, when we received a lovely surprise package on our door step. It was a wonderful gift from Aunty Lisa, Uncle Miles, Patrick, Lachlan and Juanita for RJ: A West's Tigers jersey and shorts. As you can all imagine, you couldn't wipe the grin off Tristan's face. Another generation of Tiger's supporters in the family (sigh). The cute little orange and black outfit currently has pride of place in RJ's bedroom, and it's not unusual for Tristan to wonder passed, pop his head in for a peak, and walk away with a cheeky, knowing smile that his boy will grow up loving Tigerland.
Later that week, we "celebrated" Halloween at a friend's house. They decorated their entire basement to look like a creepy dungeon. It was fantastic! Tristan and I dressed up as a gangster and a flapper - I think I looked like a pregnant whale, and Tristan looked like he was wearing his PJ's in public. It probably didn't help that he was wearing his tracky pants and Tiger's jersey underneath.
Given that it was Halloween, the colours orange and black had prominence in the food and drink, decorations and candy. We only decorated the entry of our house with a jack-o-lantern (cut by Tristan) and a smiley face in the mirror. We had about 50 kids come trick-or-treating to our door. There were some very cute costumes, some that were a little bit too grown up for kiddies to be wearing, and one terrifying clown that gave me bad dreams that night. While I'm glad this tradition doesn't have a foot hold at home (yet) it was nice to experience it from this side of the fence. I'll have to think up a good costume for RJ to wear next year :-)
This week we got to experience one of the most wonderful things ever - seeing our son in 3D. During a scan, the lovely lady showed me what RJ looks like - in orange and black. I actually think the world stopped for a few seconds while I soaked up that tiny little image. Needless to say, daddy's genes are dominant with the Apperley nose and chin on display. I think I might have a look in with his little squinty eyes, that even opened during the scan. His little hands are cupping his face, and you could even see his little nails starting to grow. It was AMAZING!!
Last night, Tristan surprised me with a lovely date to see the Lion King in the city. We got all dressed up and spent over an hour stuck in traffic getting to the theater. Once there, the visual spectacular was incredible - overwhelmingly dominated by orange and black. As we watched the lovely story of Simba, I couldn't help but letting the pregnancy hormones overwhelm me when Mufasa cuddles his son, and when at the end of the show the show the cycle continues when Simba does the same. Ahh - life reflected in theater (or vice versa). Good thing that Tristan was so entranced in the show, he didn't see me have a little teary in the corner.
All in all, I think the universe is subtly preparing Tristan and I for orange and black in our future.... not sure if that means RJ will be a raging ranga like his dad with dark eyes like his mum, or if basketball looking aliens are about to invade, or that the harvest festival has infested my brain and I have become colour blind to the rest of the rainbow spectrum... pregnancy may have made me a little more crazy than normal...
Oh, and for all those on baby bump watch, I can confirm that I am looking more than festively plump - there is definitely something going on inside my belly. I'll get Tristan to get a photo soon.
Lots of love
Tristan, Penni and RJ.
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